It’s Finally Here

I have had the idea for this post for a little while now. Thirty is truly one of those milestones in your life that hits you like a freight train. Holy shit, you’re a real adult now. Like, people look at you to be the most adult one in the room. Most of the time, in fact, all of the time, I have no idea what I’m doing.

Is It Really Thirty?

Some days, thirty doesn’t feel any different than my twenties did. Then I look back at my twenties and teens and think, “Nevermind, yes it does”. I don’t know how it makes you any different, but it does. You become more reflective, I think. I’ve learned so many life lessons in such a short amount of time. Things I regret, chances I’d wished I taken, people that I hurt; All things I simultaneously wish had happened, yet also wish didn’t happen. It can be very conflicting. 

I try to live my life to the best of my abilities. That being said, sometimes my abilities are somewhat lacking. Actually, most of my twenties, I was a literal fumbling idiot. I learned so much about life, even when I thought I had it all figured out. I didn’t by the way. No one does, really. 

Without further adieu, here are thirty things I have learned on my journey to thirty. 

1. Never take time, money, or friends for granted. You may not always get more of them. I’ve had friends taken away too soon, been so broke I just lived on air and wished I could go back to a few monumental moments in my life, even for just a few more minutes.
2. Love with your whole heart. This goes for friends and loved ones. No one needs your half-assed attempts at trying to feel something or holding back. Especially when they give you their whole heart.
3. Step up and show up. I have so many people in my life that would come running if I needed them. I realized this when I started showing the same affection for them in return. To have good friends is to BE a good friend. 
4. Love your pets. Seriously, it’s self-explanatory. They give you unconditional love every day of their lives and ask for nothing. The definition of selflessness. 
5. It’s not your job to make someone understand. Trust me, if they have any interest in understanding, they will find a way to open their heart. If not, it’s not worth the time. 
6. People have different views on things. There’s a place for everyone’s opinions. It’s what makes the world go ’round. It keeps balance. Remember that.
7. People really can’t drive. Like ever. Anywhere you go, they will not be able to drive. It’s remarkable who they give a license to.
8. People will be shitty. Most of the time they think they have a reason. They swear it is 100% valid. That makes it 100% not your problem.
9. Not everyone will like you. You don’t even have to do anything to them. If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personally. They could’ve heard something about you, or judged you unfairly, etc. Also, not your problem. 
10. Forgive easily. It is too easy to let anger eat you up inside. It will consume you for no better reason than just to pass time. Let it go for your sake.
11. Being petty isn’t worth it. I see all of you petty’s on social media. This does nothing but stirs the pot and opens the door for more nonsense that really takes up a lot of time. You’ve got other things to do. Trust me.
12. Life won’t be fair. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen less qualified people get further ahead than myself. But not to worry, you’re not going where they’re going.
13. Life is so unfortunately short. Stop and take the moments in. Adventure often. Love freely. Laugh the most. Bare your soul. 
14. Most everyone has good in them. I say most because I haven’t met everyone yet. But even people who seem the worst have good in them. Someone loves them. Remember that next time you want to hate on someone.
15. Appreciate what you have. If you’re always looking for more, you won’t notice what you’ve got. It really is more than you think. Take time to think about how much more fortunate you are than some. It’s not all roses and rainbows for most of the world.
16. If you feel bad about something, then you probably ought to. My therapist told me this once. If you feel bad about something, then there’s a good chance you’ve got a reason to. But don’t live there forever. 
17. Take care of your body. Putting garbage in your body makes you feel like garbage. Preservatives and fillers cause a plethora of disease. Your body is your temporary home until your soul finds somewhere else to go. Treat it well. And look up the effects of high fructose corn syrup while you’re on the elliptical. 
18. Make an impact. There are some people in this world who are extraordinary. There are others who are extra ordinary. Both have value. You can make a difference, even if it seems like just a small one, it could mean everything to someone else.
19. Don’t beat yourself up. Again, you get one very short life. Don’t use it beating yourself up for who you’re not. You are what you are. You have the ability to change if you want to. But love the skin you’re in at the moment. Be your biggest fan.
20. Don’t hold grudges. Release whatever is holding you back. People don’t deserve your hate and anger forever. They too make mistakes. Forgive and forget.
21. Experience things. Take that internship, move to that place, befriend that person, adopt that cat even though you hate cats, etc. You’ll change the trajectory of your life and open up so many more doors for yourself. Oh, and you might find you actually like cats. 
22. Feel your emotions. For the longest time, any emotion I felt was either compartmentalized or manifested itself in anger. I think all of my friends could attest to the fact I could be a right bitch sometimes. I look back now and am pretty embarrassed for 24-year-old Melissa. You’ve come far, girl. You’ve come so far.
23. Don’t stop learning. About people, life, or skills. Everyone can teach you something. 
24. Be compassionate. It is one of the most positive things you can do for someone or something.
25. Don’t take yourself so seriously. I laugh at every joke your average 6 year old would laugh at. I also act like I’m 6 sometimes. Whatever.
26. It will always only be Tuesday. Seriously, whenever something goes wrong, or you’re having a tough go of it, look at the day. Guaranteed Tuesday. That was also to be the name of this blog originally. It was taken though. Also, really expensive. Well played, Tuesday.
27. Don’t be afraid to go after something you want. It can end up being the best or worst decision of your life. Or both at the same time. That’s actually happened to me. You’ll never know if you don’t try.
28. Choose happiness. Truthfully, so many people choose to be miserable. It’s all about perspective. the happiest people don’t have everything, but they do make the best of what they do have. Grief and sorrow are where you visit, not where you live.
29. You’re going to be embarrassed. Awkard shit happens to everyone. Embrace it. You will also act in ways in which you embarrass yourself. Apologize to people when you do. I’ve come to know my inner “Tammy” very well and she does not play so nice with others after a few drinks. I apologize for her in advance. 
30. And finally, when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

This was one of the easiest blogs I’ve ever written. It was written completely from the heart. I hope everyone who is turning 30, or 40, or 50.. has learned these if not more life lessons. I’m sure if I took the time, there are many more things that could go on this list. Remember to be impactful, mindful, and loving, and the rest of these just fall into place.

All My Love,

Melissa